The most horrible thing happened today though...almost unreal. I was walking around and passed this baby that I had noticed wasn't looking too good. His skin looked like he wasn't getting enough circulation. So I reached my hands in the incubator and tried to give him some care and I checked the capillary refill which was not good, so I told the nurse and she came over and listened to the baby's heart beat and found that there wasn't one. I couldn't believe it. The baby was hooked up to a ventilator so his chest was moving up and down still but he was dead. I've never seen a baby die. It was just awful. However, experiencing the death I think will make me a better nurse. Before, I took life for granted.

I spent the rest of the day on the oncology floor and cared for sick children. They were so precious and so so ill. There was a little one year old girl that was bald and had the darkest eyes. She was beautiful and despite the fact she was so sick she was still playful with me. Overall, it was a good experience. I would have liked to do more care and I would have liked to been able to communicate with the nurses and dotors more, but hopefully things will be better tomorrow when I spend the entire day in the womens hospital where I will get to watch births, c-sections, hysterectomies etc. I really like surgeries, so it'll be great!